Friday, April 27, 2007

Rough night

Ellie Belly had a pretty rough night last night. We heard her get up and try to get comfortable at least 5 or 6 times. Just as I was getting up to get her another pain pill (she can have them 3 times a day, but so far it's just been twice a day), she settled down and went back to sleep.

I talked to the vet for quite a while last night. She said it's a good 3 inches of bone that's cancerous. The entire bone is involved. It's like someone is taking a melon baller and scooping out various sized balls out of the bone. That's why we have to be very cautious of bone breaks. I told her we'd like one of the other 2 vets there to have a look for a 2nd opinion, just because we don't want it to be true. She has no problem with that, but said even her xray tech knew it was cancer as soon as she saw the films. So she'll ask Carla to have a look today.

Margot is also researching the pain meds we have on hand at home to see if they're okay to give to Ellie. I have a big bottle of darvocet that I don't use anymore, but it has Tylenol in it and that's no good for doggies.

Strike that - I just got off the phone with Margot. She says NO to the Enbrel because it can mask infection and the dog could die of a hidden sepsis (people can too) and there is no dosage guidelines for dogs. NO to Darvocet because of the Tylenol. What she wants to do is keep up with the Percocet (it only has a little tylenol) 1/2 to 3/4 tablet during the day and a full one at night. Keep the Prevacox 1/2 tablet once a day, then replace that with Tramadol once our supply of Prevacox is gone. Also add (sp?) dexomethoraphan (like in cough medicine). She has to talk to a pharmacist to figure out dosage amounts and it might have to be compounded by a pharmacist. I know Darrenkamp's advertises that they do that for pet meds. Margot agrees and says their prices are really good and the one pharmacist (Bill) LOVES to do things for pets.

It's all going to be playing with the med levels to keep her comfortable as her pain levels change. We may eventually go to morphine tablets. If that happens, I think it will be close to the end for her.

I went to a farewell party last night for one of my co-workers who is quitting to be a SAHM. I told her I hate her ;) Anyway, I had to leave the party early because I was on the verge of tears again. I cried all the way home. My sweet Ellie.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Update

The chest xray didn't show any big major tumors, but there were several small "spots". The vet feels that these are most likely very small tumors, but could be blood vessels looking directly at the xray machine. Unlikely though. At the age of almost 11, we're not going to put Ellie thru the trauma of an amputation just to buy her 1-3 happy months. We've decided to just medicate her to keep her comfortable until either the meds stop working or Ellie tells us it's time to go. Until that time, we will spoil her and love on her and do whatever we can to help her.

Steve doesn't want to believe it is true, so he wants me to ask for a 2nd opinion. I don't want Margot to be right either, but I believe she is.

I talked to Ellie's foster mama from before we adopted her. One of her dobie girls got bone cancer when she was 13 yrs old. The next day after diagnosis, her leg broke, I guess from the cancer weakening it, and they had the old girl put down at that point. She also told me about another dobie she knows of that was diagnosed with the same thing 5 months ago and is still with us. He didn't get an amputation either. So, it's entirely up to Ellie how long she wants to deal with this. She will let us know when it's time.

On a related note, MIL has pissed us both off ROYALLY by suggesting to Steve that we put Ellie down now, or get rid of her...before she hurts Stefanie. I told Steve to tell his mother she better not EVEN go there with me. This morning was the first time since that conversation that I saw MIL. Steve hadn't talked to her about it yet, but she didn't bring it up with me at all. Good thing because I was prepared to pack Stef up, turn around, and go right the Hell back home if she did start on me about it. My emotional state is pretty frazzled now anyway. I don't need her crap.

I like how Tanya (dobie foster mama) put it. How would MIL like it if we threw her into a nursing home now just because she might need some help and be in some pain, which is manageable with meds. I won't throw my 4 legged children away any more than I'd throw away my 2 legged one. No life is disposable in my book.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

My sweet Ellie

It's bone cancer. It's in her tibia (foreleg). It's very aggressive. I've okay'd a chest xray to see if it's spread to her chest/lungs. If not, we might consider amputation to buy her some happy time. Otherwise we will just give her strong pain killers until Ellie gives up.

Ellie and "Mary"

Ellie is at the vet today getting her knee xrayed. It hadn't gotten any better with the pain meds, so this is the next step. I'll update after they call me with the results.

For some reason, Stef has started pretending that her name is Mary sometimes. All day Sunday, she was Mary. She had Mary's ball, she was waving goodbye to Mary's house when we went to the mall, she even told the photographer at Picture People that her name was Mary. I have no idea why she picked Mary, unless it's from Jacks' Big Music Show. What's really funny is when she announces she's not Mary, but she's Stefanie again. What a character!

Monday, April 23, 2007

Picture People



Well, I guess that's how they keep people from grabbing the pictures from their website. They're all a bit pixelated, but you get the idea, at least until I get them all scanned in and uploaded for sharing. Steve even agrees with me now - we won't be using Sears for pictures any more. Picture People are SO much better with Stef.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Scream or cry?

At the suggestion from my family doctor (or CNP), I've been weaing from my happy pill. I've been at 40mg since Friday. I'm not doing well with it. Tax season wasn't a great time to try this anyway, but that's over now and I'm still ready to bite someone's head off while bawling my eyes out at the same time.

I talked to Michelle (RE) this morning. She said she's had some patients stay on prozac during pg and everything was fine. She suggested that I talk to the CNP again and ask about switching to Zoloft or just staying at 60mg Prozac.

Something HAS to be done. This morning, I very nearly fired MIL and quit my job (that I really really need). I know I'm not thinking entirely rationally right now, but now I'm just about as mad at MIL as Steve has been recently.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Happy Birthday Meredith!!

It's only one day late, but Happy Happy Birthday!!!

Friday, April 13, 2007

Ellie Belly

I'm really worried about our bionic doggy Ellie. She'll be 11 next month, which scares me just by itself. We took her to the vet last night because she's been favoring her back left leg for a week or 2 now and it doesn't seem to be getting better.

Both of Ellie's hips are bothering her, but it's just from old age. Margot thinks the problem is in her knee. She feels an old injury in there (from before Ellie lived with us) While she was feeling around the knee, we could really tell it bothers her. But then she moved further down the leg, below the actual joint, and Ellie yipped and snapped. Major big pain. We're hoping it's just a knee injury from acting like a nut in the yard and Ellie had finally just had enough examination. We're giving her more pain pills and trying to keep her quiet. If it doesn't get better, it'll be time for an x-ray to see if she either ripped her ACL or, worse case scenario...has bone cancer. It scared the bejeezes out of Margot that the big reaction came when she wasn't anywhere near the joint, but we're going to play this out conservatively for now.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

What a dingbat

When I sent in my last prescription reorder slip, I was only looking for some more Nasacort for my allergies. I accidentally marked the Prozac box, but crossed it out and wrote "NO" next to it. Apparently they don't know what NO means, unless they are the ones saying it. LOL. That particular Rx was almost expired, so the pharmacy called the doctor. The doctor agreed to give a 90 day supply refill and made me get an appointment since it'd been quite awhile since my last visit for depression.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I saw Nurse Cindy, my favorite nurse practitioner. She had a nurse working with her, studying to become a nurse practitioner. I was going to ask about weaning or cutting back on the 60mg/day Prozac anyway, but then thought I'd better wait, because of the stress of the upcoming IVF (if it ever happens). The student nurse pointed out that I shouldn't be on Prozac if I'm pg, so I should start weaning now. Figures! The only person to even ever mention it was a student nurse!! I'm so glad I went in that day. Anyway, they approved a slow gradual wean.

That night, I took 2 pills from the bottle I'd been using. That would have been 40mg. The next night, I took the final pill from that bottle (20 mg) and one from the new bottle that just came. I continued taking 2 pills a day from that new bottle until last night. TG Steve went to fetch my pills for me. He brought me the bottle and asked was that the right one and how many am I taking now. I said 2/day. He pointed out that this bottle had 40mg pills in it. Holy Sith Spawn!! I'd been taking 80mg all week!! Nurse Cindy says it's okay, no harm done, but now I have to wean down from 80mg instead of from 60mg.

If all else fails, read the instructions!!!

Monday, April 09, 2007

Kitty BA

I almost forgot (because I'm trying not to think about it). Kitty BA passed away Saturday night in her sleep. She was 21 yrs old and lived a long, pampered, happy life. I tried explaining to Stef, but I'm sure she doesn't quite get it. I told her that Kitty BA went to live in Kitty Heaven and now she's not sick anymore and she doesn't hurt anymore. Now she can play with Kitty Doofus again. But we won't get to see her anymore. We will miss her but Kitty BA went to live with Jesus and Kitty Doofus and she is happy there. Stef is okay with the happy parts, but doesn't like the sounds of not seeing Kitty BA anymore. We shall see how it goes on Wednesday - the first time she'll be at my mom's since the passing of her little furry friend.

Silly Easter

Stef must think the Easter Bunny's name is Easter. She was telling Grandpop and Grammie on the phone "That silly Easter. He hide eggies in my house. On the stairs!"

We had a great weekend. Well, Friday could've been better if the Y had been open. We drove all the way down here only to find that they were closed Fri, Sat, and Sun for the holiday. Bummer, but oh well. Then we picked up Omi and went shopping. Stef had a grand time in the Treehouse (playcenter at the grocery store) and didn't want to leave. Then she napped in the car so we had to tag team when we got to Hancock Fabrics' store closing sale. Omi went first. I spent another $90 but got lots and lots of goodies. Oh, that reminds me. My friend Wendy wants to go in halfers on a Serger machine!! I just have to find one on QVC.com so her friend can get us a discount. I have ALWAYS wanted a Serger. I don't have any idea how to work one, but I want it!! I've always wanted a dress form too. I looked at the one at Hancock - $129 minus 30% off = $90. I almost got it but the lady said she doesn't have my size. I told her "That's okay. This isn't my size anyway. My size is hiding somewhere under the flab"

Saturday, we had a very fun (very loud) playdate with Ang and Logan at Chuck EE Cheese. As expected, we had to practically drag them out of there kicking and screaming. It's pretty standard for that place. It was more fun back at Logan's house;except for the flashlight klunking incident. Stef cracked Logan right on the noggin with a hard plastic dog shaped flashlight. OUCH! They bonked heads with each other once, too, but it was a bit less tramatic. Stef kissed the booboo, they hugged and made up. SO CUTE!!

Sunday, I threw the ham in the oven and finished cleaning up the downstairs. We dyed our eggs and I made a few Star Wars eggs with the kits Ang and Nessa gave me. The Darth Vader one was AWESOME!! I'll have to take pix and post them before eating the dark lord of the Sith. (if I can find my camera) Supper was delish. Stef was fun. Family was great. It was just a great weekend all the way around.

Today, I took my lunch break 1/2 hr early so I could get in the pool with Stef for Swimming School. Now that was an absolute BLAST! I think I helped her build some more water confidence (because I let her try things that scare the bejeezes out of MIL). She went under the water about 3 times. She was trying harder to actually swim, instead of floating while somebody holds her. It was just SO cool!!!! I can't go next week since it'll be the last week of the tax season. That's okay. Classes go on into the middle of June I think.

It's a smiley day.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

A slide show would have been much easier

New pix

These are from our trip to Funk's to see the Easter bunny.

Our little daredevil:
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holding the baby bunnies
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hugging the Easter bunny
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And this happened last night. I was cutting out "button" stickers to put on the red cake plates, so they look like Mickey Mouse's belly. Stef wanted to help. So I set her up with her own safety scissors and gave her the scraps to cut up. Next thing I know, I'm hearing the sound of HAIR being cut. She burst into tears when I scolded her about it.
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Not really a big deal. Her hair is layered anyway, and it's only hair, it'll grow back. But it's in her genes and I wanted to nip that habit in the bud, so to speak. There is a picture somewhere of Steve with some VERY uneven, uphill bangs. He cut his hair the night before picture day. I don't think I ever did that, there are no lingering stories about it anyway.

Monday, April 02, 2007

What a nice weekend

Saturday, Stef was pretty much back to her old self. We went to Funk's to see the Easter Bunny and take a hayride. Stef actually HUGGED this Easter bunny!! Maybe she's over her fear of costumed characters finally? The egg hunt they had was fun too. After the egg hunt, there were real baby bunnies for everyone to hold. Stef did pretty well with her bunny. I only had to tell her "no neck" once.

Sunday, FIL came down to look at our next door neighbor's house which is still up for sale. He seems extremely interested, but is worried about the cost. He needs to sit down and do all the math. I think it would be kinda cool to have him living next door. He's the type to mind his own business. Stef would love having Grandpop living so close. We'll see.

Today was great too. I walked over the Y to watch Stef's swim class. She did so well! I want to rearrange my lunch schedule so I can get in the pool with her some time.

Friday, March 30, 2007

It's apparently THE flu

One of my depositing customers told me yesterday that his wife has the same thing Stef has and their doctor told them it's THE flu - as in the one we all got shots for last fall. He says the shot is really only effective for 3 months, then it's sort of no good after that. I personally just think we got a shot for a slightly different strain than what is going around now.

Anyway, MIL sort of confirmed that today. Her other job is at a nursing home and one of her coworkers had this stomach bug, also told by her doctor that it's THE flu. She said it was so bad that her hair hurt. That totally fits with how Stef has been acting - like it hurts to be touched, sometimes it hurts to just BE. Poor poor baby.

No more puking so far. She complained that her belly hurt a lot last night. One explosive/toxic diaper later and she was much better. She ate a little piece of banana last night then asked to go for a nap. Today, she ate a cracker and about 1/3 of a banana before I left her at my mom's. She called me later (Stef did) to tell me she's feeling good. I think we're finally over the hump with this (knock wood). The diahrea is supposed to last for about a week, so I'm not sure if she can go back to swimming school Monday or not.

If anybody has any ideas about games the kids could play at Stef's birthday party, that tie in with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, please share! So far, I only have Pin the tail on Mickey (yawn) and some sort of treasure hunt that loosely follows the episode where they were looking for colors to refill the rainbow machine. Red ball, orange whistle, yellow flower, green ducky, blue bow, and purple plum. I'm still not quite sure how to run the game. All the kids are around 3 yrs old except Michael who is 7. HELP!!

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Stef update

Stef puked herself awake this morning, then went back to sleep. I called the pedi and got an appointment for 9:50. When I woke her up to go to the doctor's, I gave her a few sips of KoolAid. That all came back up (even thru her nose, poor baby) in the car. Luckily, I had the forethought to bring a towel and put on her lap, so most of it went there. I brought the pukey bowl too but she didn't make it to that. Pedi checked her weight (30-1/2 lbs) and her belly, throat, ears, heart(?); said her bowels are working fine and everything else is clear. Apparently this stomach virus is rampant - they've been seeing ALOT of it lately. Stef got a shot of phenergan to stop the vomiting. MIL reports that she slept in her bed for awhile, then wanted to be held and was sleeping in MIL's arms as of 12:45. When she wakes up, she's allowed to have sips of Sprite or ginger ale or broth. If she holds that down, she can have crackers/toast/rice/bananas etc for supper. The puking should be finished now.

Lil stinker that she is, she keeps asking for cocoa or choc milk or cereal or ice cream. I tell her she can't have that while she's sick. So she proclaims that she's all better now. LMTO

On a related note, MIL told me this morning that she hates our pediatricians because they just let her be sick for too long. Luckily she told me this on the phone so she didn't see the eye roll. I told her that they had offered for Stef to come in on Tuesday but there isn't much they could do for her except weigh her and check her belly. I was comfortable with waiting it out. I know there's not much to be done for viruses. Of course I translated her comment into that I'm a bad mother for not insisting she be seen. Ugh.

Tagged by Elisa

Birthday Tag

1. Go to Wikipedia and type in your Birthday Month and day only.
2. List 3 Events that occurred that day.
3. List 2 important Birth days.
4. List 1 Death.
5. List a Holiday or Observance. (if any)
6. Tag 5 other bloggers.

3 events:
1-1865 - The New York Stock Exchange opens its first permanent headquarters at 10-12 Broad near Wall Street in New York City.
2-1958 - Sputnik 1 falls to Earth from its orbit (launched on October 4, 1957).
3-1999 - Former professional wrestler Jesse Ventura is sworn in as governor of Minnesota.

2 important birthdays
1-1643 - Sir Isaac Newton, English mathematician and natural philosopher (d. 1727)
2-1965 - Julia Ormond, English actress (same year as me)

1 death
1999 - Iron Eyes Cody, American actor (b. 1904)

holiday
The eleventh night and tenth day of Christmas in Western Christianity

I tag Sara, Angela, Kylee, Koren, and Krista

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Day 3 of the stomach flu

I could tell Stef wasn't herself on Sunday. She hadn't been eating much since about Thursday, but I chalked that up to toddlerhood. Sunday afternoon, she started telling me her belly hurt. Well, not so much that it hurt, just that whine "my bellllllyyyyyy" I kind of figured it was coming. She fell asleep in the car on the way to the grocery store. We drove to York's Giant purposely so she could go in the Treehouse (play area). When I woke her and asked if she wanted to go play with the kids, at first she said yes, but then just cried and wanted me to hold her. She still wasn't feeling hot. I carried her all the way thru the grocery store (and OY does my back feel it now). After groceries, she and I waited in the car while Steve went in Lowes to get us a new dishwasher (ours isn't dead but it's very ill). As soon as he came back out, she puked all over herself and the carseat and everything on the floor in front of her. I never make a big deal out such things so as not to upset her. As long as I covered the puke mess, she was calm. Steve, on the other hand, freaked a little at first, but then got himself under control when he saw how Stef reacted.

We got her home and she puked once more, then just layed around and snuggled with me the rest of the evening. Monday morning she woke up in a huge pool of diarrhea, so straight in the bathtub for her. She was running a low grade fever by this point and cried unless I was holding her. So I stayed home with her. She was able to hold down small sips of Sprite then a few crackers for supper. Of course Steve was freaking just about the whole time he was home. "well, what about orange juice? maybe she caught it from the shopping cart at Giant. are you sure the Sprite is supposed to be warm? etc etc" Just worried daddy stuff.

She was running a temp of about 100 at supper time, and climbed to 103 before bed. Tylenol and Motrin tag team, cool washcloth, and snuggles with mommy all cooled her off enough that I could put her to bed without worrying myself to death. I still didn't sleep much all night - listening for Stef sounds. She woke up completely cool and begged for her water bottle, which is a comfort thing for her. Against my better judgement, I gave in and let her have a few ounces. She curled up on my lap and took a short nap. I tried to get her awake so I could see if I needed to stay home with her again or not. She wanted to go lay in my bed with me and just as I picked her up to carry her there, she puked all the water back at me, in my hair, down my back, on the floor. I should have listened to my better judgement. LOL

Anyway, now she feels warm again but I didn't get the thermometer on her yet. She's sleeping on my bed with the puke bowl next to her. I just called off work again and am waiting for the ped to open @ 8:30 to call them. Oh, I'll have to cancel my PT for today too. And then I'm getting in the shower again!!

Friday, March 23, 2007

I'll MEME too

Bolded items are things I have done:

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it (Every day!)
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper

21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight

28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster

35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day

38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer

40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign

46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
(
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland (no but SO close)
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them

54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero

58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football

61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud

64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater

66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites

70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest

79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage

85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone

92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children/currently raising child
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth

112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild

118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet (a snake is NOT a pet!!)
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school

131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (if catching a fish counts)
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language

139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life (well, it was my dog, but i still saved his life)

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

How did it go?

Well, MIL said Stef was really scared at first but by the time it was over, she didn't want to leave. Stef told me she had fun, but hasn't mentioned it again. It's supposed to be a class to help them get comfortable being in the water. Some of the kids went under. Stef layed back in the water. That's a good step for her because she freaks if I just try to lay her back in the tub.

I hate my allergies. My nose is like a freaking fire truck. My left sinuses are completely blocked up. My ears itch. My chest feels heavy (well, heavier than usual). The pollen forecast is 6.6 today and slowly creeping up over the next 4 days. Blech.