Another one bites the dust

We've been trying to get pregnant again for 8, make that 9, months now. I was actually hopeful that this might be the month; the 2 yr anniversary of getting pregnant with Stefanie. I was 8 days late (on a 28 day cycle, which my body never follows). I took a home pregnancy test on Tuesday (negative) and again Thursday (another negative). I felt a wave of nausea on Wednesday evening, the kind that only comes from progesterone poisoning. I suppose it was just wishful nausea though. I had an emotional meltdown last night as I was putting Stefanie to bed. I suppose I knew in my heart that this was not the month. I had also been thinking about the saying that God does not give us more than we can handle. So maybe it's God's plan not to give us a second blessing because he knows I can't handle it? I hope it's just that now is not the time He has planned for us. I felt so ready to give up on this dream of having a second child.

We have the infertility doctor appointment set for Sept 13. I guess we can decide what we want to pursue after we see what Dr Filer has to say. We'd discussed adoption when we were having trouble conceiving before Stefanie. My dear friend next door has been on the adoption waiting list for 6 months now and told me they were to expect a 9month to 1year wait for an infant. I'm just not sure how I feel at this point, except incredibly sad and disappointed.

There is no need for further home pregnancy tests this month...good old Aunt Flo showed up this morning. At least I know now. That means I can go do the bloodwork tomorrow for the FSH and TSH.

How much crap can one person cram into one day? Ah, that's a whole Blog unto itself.