An interesting question

My sister, God love her, posed a thought provoking question earlier this week. While I was talking to her about my infertility issues, she asked if we'd discussed a 2nd baby with our primary caregivers (MIL and mom) to see if they thought they could handle two children. My answer.....ummmm not really. I know for a fact that my mom can't even handle Stefanie full time (one day a week plus a half day once in awhile is all mom does now). I keep hearing Gloria (MIL) say how much Stef wears her out. So I discussed it with Steve and asked him to talk to his mom about it. After all, it was totally unfair of us to just decide to try to have another baby without even discussing it with the sitters.

Steve talked to his mom last night while I was putting Stef to bed. His mother's response "Well, we'll give it a try" He had to laugh at her "It's not like we can put the baby back if it's not working out Mom!" She agreed that she can probably handle it, since Stefanie will be older and more helpful by the time any new baby could possibly show up.

I think Steve's big hope (and sort of mine too) is that he will pass his test for fulltime Kelloggs work which would enable me to be a stay-at-home-mom. I absolutely want to be a SAHM but I'm not sure that the cost of Steve's freedom is worth it. Once you work for Kelloggs, they basically own you. They pay handsomely for it but Steve is worried that he'd never be home if he goes fulltime there. Plus he's really happy (most days) at the job he currently holds. It's a really really tough position to be in. I figure God will have it work out the way it's supposed to. He simply won't let us get pregnant again if a second child would be too much for us, as a family, to handle. If we are blessed with another baby, we'll deal with the new situation as best we can, no matter who the primary caregiver is.

On a related side note, when I discussed the whole thing with Mom, I was telling her that we'd need an honest answer from both grandmothers about the possibility of a 2nd baby. Until then, she'd held her tongue about the whole issue (as is her way). I KNOW that when asked for her honest opinion, that's exactly what Mom will give. She admits that she can't handle Stef fulltime, but part time is ok so far. She also thinks we ought to quit while we're ahead. "Why tempt fate at your age? You have this one beautiful perfect sweet daughter. Why risk getting a down's baby?"

Good point, but Steve and I have already been thru all those discussions. We're mostly wanting a 2nd baby for Stefanie's sake, so that she'll have a close family member in her life. Because, at my age, I know we won't be around for her as long as younger parents will be. Plus I know Stef will be a fabulous big sister! It's hard to describe, but it just feels like we need one more baby to complete our family. And as dead set against any more as I was until this past February, for me to be longing for and desparately praying for another child, it must be true. I hope it's true.

Damn my sister for asking questions that make me think!!!