Forgive me my time on the pity pot but I really feel like I SUCK today. I'm in charge of the bills. I'm happy to do it. I love working with numbers. I love working on the budget. For some undefineable reason, since Stef was born, I've been bad about getting the bills paid on time. I thought it would all be better when our bank offered web bill pay for free with our account, but that just seems to be making it worse for me.
I thought I was being proactive yesterday and set up all of this weeks bills to be paid today instead of just entering them today. Only thing is, I forgot to change the issue date. We didn't get paid until today. Well, there was some money in there, but not enough to pay everything before payday! They paid everything but also charged us 5 overdraft fees @ $35 a pop. I called and pled my case but they said since this wasn't the first time the acct was ever overdrafted they couldn't do anything to reverse the fees. I started bawling and told her now I won't be able to get gas & groceries, couldn't she please talk to a supervisor. I said it's obvious what I did, it was an honest mistake! I've been a customer for 11 years! Couldn't they cut me some slack?? She went & talked to someone but could only offer to reverse one of the $35 fees at the Call Center but I could call the branch & see if they'd be willing to do anything for me. I will do that once I get my full composure back.
I guess I'm hyper sensitive about it right now because 1) I'm worried about the security of my job and 2) Steve's been upset about the budget the past few days anyway. He won't come out & say anything mean to me, but I know he feels like it's my fault. It is my fault but he shares the blame too. I told him a LONG time ago that we needed to quit spending money like water. Then we I had to get the home equity loan, I told him again, that the loan basically just saved our asses. He thought we were comfortable after getting the loan. NOW he's hearing me that we have to be very careful with what we spend.
I know part of the problem is my inability to say no to him or to myself for things for Stef. I can say no to myself pretty easily.
Added on top of all this, we're thinking ahead to all the costs involved with the IVF procedure, then all the costs involved with a 2nd child, if it works. Why in the hell am I doing this? I'm a logical reasonable person. The baby fever has masked even that part of myself. So then starting down this path leads me into the dark place I hold about being infertile in the first place. Then I start doing all the coulda, woulda, shoulda's that get me nowhere.
I'm on the verge of cleaning out my pitiful 401k account to fix this whole mess. Meanwhile Steve is praying for Kellogg's.
I need to get to work so I can think about something else for awhile. I'm making myself nutsy.
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5 comments:
Ok, just stop right there Missy!!!! Just take it one day at a time. One issue at a time. It will all work out in the end. It always does. Maybe not be what you planned. But, its all good.
Don't beat yourself up about it! Like Linda said, it will all work out in the end!
One day at a time, one issue at a time. We love ya!
Whenever I'm down like that I look at Jenna and am thankful that I have her and wonder what would be if I didn't. It's like a little ray of sunshine appeared and makes me smile and forget about all my sad thoughts. It really sucks about the fees though ugh..... I live in overdraft week to week and it's ALWAYS maxed out by the time I get paid, very rarely am I ahead of the game, your not alone :)
I totally understand the overdraft fees, we were giving the bank at least $100 a month!! Get the book Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey, some churches even offer free classes that go along with it. We don't follow it to a T but we've come away with some great ideas.
Just take it one day at a time. A great lawyer once told me that financial problems weren't the end of the world. There's a whole lot of things more important than money.
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