to not let MIL get on my last nerve too badly. Steve is ready to fire her & take money out of his IRA to finance Stef going to daycare. I've convinced him for now to leave it alone. I'll still do the research. I know it would break her heart if we did that. I think we should give diplomacy a try first. It's a precarious situation. We're afraid to say too much for fear of hurting her feelings, but she's just not listening to us anymore.
Case in point
1) she gave Stef a handful of M&M's even though she hadn't gone potty. Then Stef asked for more, so, of course, she gave her more. Umm Hello! It won't work for potty prizes if she gets them whenever she asks for them!
2) For about the 6th time (no exaggeration), she told me yesterday that since Stef had eaten such a good lunch, she gave her a cookie. She's been trying hard to limit that kind of snacks because she thinks Stef gets too much junk. Steve said he's heard the exact same line at least 3 or 4 times from her too. Okay! Who started the whole cookie thing?!? Not us!! Why do you have to tell us 6 times each. It's starting to feel like an insuation that WE give her too much junk food.
3) Calling daycares behind our backs = not appreciated!
4) In discussions about Stef needing to play with other kids, saying that she WON'T give Stef up more than 2 days a week just feels a bit, shall we say, demanding & controlling.
I know there's more, but that's just the main things we're bugged about right now. Steve even actually suspects that when MIL says she can't get Stef to nap it's that she's not really trying very hard. I disagree with that because sometimes I can't get her to nap and neither can my mom. That would just be stupid and counterproductive on MIL's part to do that because she'd also be doing it to herself as well as to Stef. Sorry Steve. I know you're right on most things, but I just can't buy that theory.
I personally don't want to fire her. It would break her heart. But I do want to sit down & have a talk so she knows how we're feeling and what our expectations are. I know my sister had to sit down with my mom about Sarah every 9 months or so to straighten things out. That's the downside of having family as babysitters.
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5 comments:
I feel your pain. Especially with the M&M for potty issue. I just kept talking to mil every morning this week about it. Junk food too, she gives her lots.
If I could wing it, I would put her in daycare/preschool in a heartbeat. But, it would cause a huge strain on our relationship. So, I don't know the answer. Just wish you well
I guess there are advantages to the absent MIL. Sorry Terri, maybe we need to get our little ones together more frequently to passify her need for Stef's interaction with other kids. Have you considered stickers as a potty prize? or would mil just screw that up too?
You should have a sit down with your MIL and put the cards on the table. Don't let things build up.
OMG, my MIL is totally the same about the junk food. I just try to make sure she eats lots of good stuff at home.
Personally, I'd fire the MIL. I just don't think it's worth it having to deal with her. Too bad if it breaks her heart, she'll get over it. I would just tell her how much you appreciated her keeping Stef for the first few years of her life. That was the most important time, I think.
I know right where you are coming from...I have to leave specific orders for MIL every thursday and half the time they still get ignored. It makes me so mad! My biggest issue is the junk food. MIL is overweight, and knows it and is trying to watch her food, yet she bring a donut and candy everytime she comes and feeds my kids whatever they ask for. She says that kids should eat whatever they want and shouldn't worry about their weight. I have actually started hiding the junk food so the only snacks around when she babysits is fruit.
I would definitely sit your MIL down and explain to her what you want done and if she can't follow your rules then you will have to find alternate care for Stef.
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