Everyone has a breaking point

Here's mine.

***Warning - especially to Jeni's sensitive eyes LOL - I'm pissed and I've used the F word multiple times in this post****

It's a full moon tonight, so I have to blame some of this on the moon. It's been a stinky 24 hrs.

1-Last night, I forgot to take the mail and UPS out to the boxes for work.

2-I talked to Margot about Ellie's rough night and she said if it happens again, just to give her another pain pill and if that doesn't help her in 20-30 minutes, to give her another, etc. At this point, she has a terminal disease and if we OD her on pain pills to keep her comfortable, then so be it. I told her I'd wondered about that myself, how many pills would do that? She doesn't know since she's never intentionally OD'd a dog before. Anyway, Ellie had a pretty good night last night without extra pills.

3-MIL practically burst into tears this morning when we very briefly discussed daycare. I told her we need her to pick a day, she says she'd like Monday's off so she can have a 3 day weekend every other week. I said 'no, we need you to pick a day that you WANT Stef' Oh! I'll only have her one day a week! I'm going to go thru withdrawal!! And there were the tears. She tried to stifle them saying that Stef will like going to school. I said yes, she's going to love it. She's been practically begging to go to school for months now. It's all about Stef.

4-About 15 minutes after I handed out the c&p'd (because it was too long to fit on one page of paper) office calendar, one of the guys asked me to add him to the Dude-of-the-day mix...which would mean re-doing the whole damn thing and I worked hard on that sucker! So I told him it was too late for this month, but I'd add him for July. As far as I know, he doesn't even have his production number yet, so WTH? Well, he must have cried to the boss because he made me change it. The good part of that is that I shrank fonts, etc enough to make it all fit on one piece of paper. So much for the HOUR I worked on it yesterday!

5-I forgot my happy pill last night

6-I'm so full of injected hormones that I've been sort of on the edge the past few days anyway.

7-Steve keeps asking me when is the day he will have to take off work for the egg retrieval. I keep telling him I DON'T KNOW! ASK MY OVARIES!!

8-I was still stewing about a comment my supervisor made last night and I'm really personally crushed about it. He said the girls here HATE covering for me when I'm out of the office. I seriously honestly didn't think they minded beyond the computer sign-on hassle. Apparently, I was wrong. So now I'm back to feeling like I can't take any time off from work. I was thinking of telling the jerk "yeah, just wait til I get pg and see how much time I'm off work buddy boy!" But I was too busy stifling tears.

9-Supervisor called me again today, asked how I was doing. I gave the usual non-committal "I'm okay" He pushed so I told him the truth, that I'm in a pissy mood. He says "hey, watch your mouth, but why are you in a mood" (LOL! If he would've heard that mouth when I was on active duty!!! WHOA). Well, ask me a question and you'd better expect to get a fully truthful answer, especially if I'm in a mood and just got pushed. So, I listed it out for him: happy pill, hormones, calendar, etc etc. He asked if anything else was new, so I told him "well, my dog is dying." He said "Wow, I'm gonna stop talking to you people from that office." I said "okay, bye" but he kept talking. "You people have the worst luck!" "I'm sorry, but I don't think it's bad luck that my dog has bone cancer" "Oh well, not luck, but bad Karma" WTF?!?! So now it's MY fault that Ellie has cancer??!!?? Try to change the subject and get the hell off the phone since dude doesn't know when to shut up shuttin up. Hang up and burst into tears. Once I got my composure half way back, I asked one of the girls and apparently dude was right, they do hate having to cover me, or at least that one girl does. So now I'm crushed for not having known that. I've always believed it was a PITA but not too big of a deal for them. I asked a different girl and she said my belief was true for her at least. Still, I am back to feeling like I can't take any time off work without it being a huge big deal for the rest of the f'ing firm!

10-After my dentist appointment (which I did for my lunch hour!), I came back and found a check laying on my desk in a window envelope, so I assumed it was to be mailed out (if it were for pickup, it would have been in a regular envelope). I sealed it, stamped it, and took it to the mailbox with the rest of yesterday's mail that I'd forgotten. Twenty minutes later, client comes to the window looking to pick up a check. I call the girl who would have entered the check request, she tells me it's already printed and laying on my desk. Well FUCK a HUTT! I just put that in the mailbox. Client was not at all upset, but I sure was. What ELSE can I screw up today????

11-One of the brokers comes to me in a bit of a panic about some error from earlier this month that doesn't look fixed and today, of course, is the cutoff for statements and if it doesn't get fixed today, it'll take her 2 hrs to explain to the client why it's on their statement, blah blah blah. I had a part in THAT screw up too!!

12-I vented all this to my good friend in the York office and she asked if there was anything she could do to help. I told her to ask Supervisor to please not call me anymore today. She relayed that (and a bit of the reason behind it, I'm sure). So at 3:32, doesn't the idiot call me again. He just wants to clarify that the CA's don't hate me. I said "I never said that. I said that you said they hate having to cover for me when I'm out." He tries to explain himself to death that NOBODY likes having to cover for each other, nobody likes having to do extra work, and they don't hate me so I shouldn't feel guilty for taking the time off that is due to me. He's trying to alleviate how much they have to cover me by sending the cashier from the York office to cover part of the time for me, that this office is very lucky to have a full-time operations person that probably does more for them than other ops people would let them get away with, and don't read into THAT that you're job is in jeopardy cause it's not. Blah blah blah. SHUT UP SHUTTIN UP RABBIT!!! I try to tell him that I can't talk about it anymore, but he freaking just keeps talking and talking and talking and I keep crying and crying and crying. I finally snap and said "you just don't have any idea do you?? You don't get it, how much is on my plate already! I don't need this on top of it all! I was happily oblivious! I just don't need this" He tried to say that he does understand about my plate but wanted me to explain why this was more on top of it, like why does it bother me so much. I just whispered that I had to go, have to go, have to go...and hung up.

So he calls my good friend in York again fearfully worried about me and wants me to go home and maybe take tomorrow off too. Of course now she's worried about me. But I could explain to her that I just need to concentrate on my job, keep my mind busy, and NOT TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING ISSUE ANY MORE!! So I asked her to tell him again to not call me about it. If he has business to talk about, that's fine, but no more on this subject!

Deep breath! Sigh. He's a nice guy but he's a fucking asshole! (quote from one of Steve's former co-workers - I stole it cause I love it)