It's been an honor

It has truly been an honor to be Ellie's mommy for 4-1/2 yrs. She was a phenomenally good dog. We will miss her quirky way of HAVING to have something (a shoe, a toy, a piece of paper, a TV remote, whatever she could quickly find) in her mouth when she got excited. Also, we'll miss how she always sucked on her blanket, sort of like she was nursing. Her bark was distinctively different than Preshy's. It felt very weird to be in the house without her last night.

Steve was already crying at home when we were getting her ready to go. I'd cried pretty much all day and was cried out just then. Presh was a bit freaked out that we put her back in the crate but took Ellie out to the Vue. I rode in the very back cargo section with Ellie, partly to keep her stable and safe, partly because I wanted to be very close to her for the ride. Margot had a blanket already set up in the grass waiting for us. Steve picked Ellie up to get her out of the Vue. Margot explained exactly what was going to happen, what might happen and why. We got Ellie on the blanket and put her own holey blanket with her too, along with one of her favorite squeak toys. Margot drew some blood, then we layed Ellie down. In a few minutes, she gave her the injection. Ellie was still, but kept looking around for a few seconds. I was holding her head and talking to her. Steve was petting her neck and ears. She actually closed her eyes, which is apparently not the norm. I told her to be sure and send me a sign that she's okay once she gets there. And that my friend Jill was sending her dog Max (who passed last year) to meet her and show her the ropes. I know my mom's dogs Gretchen and Charlotte would meet her there too.

It didn't take long. She stopped breathing, then her heart stopped beating. Margot stayed with us for awhile, then let us have our privacy to say our goodbyes. Poor Margot had a doctor appt that we made her late for. She said she didn't mind, she had her priorities straight. (God bless that woman!!) We stayed with Ellie alot longer than she actually stayed with us. Neither of us wanted to leave her, but the storm clouds were building. We told the vet tech that we were finished, so she could take care of her body.

I had to drive because Steve was too much a mess to even see straight. We talked and cried all the way to his mom's to pick up Stef. Amazingly, we both pulled ourselves together just in time to be strong for Stef. We went home and ate a pizza. Stef never even asked where was Ellie. I guess she'd gotten used to Ellie laying quietly upstairs in our bedroom most of the time. At bedtime, Steve sat with us as I read the Rainbow Bridge to Stef. At first, she didn't understand, but then accepted it. This morning, when we were giving Presh her goodbye treat, was the next time she asked about Ellie. I asked if she remembered what we'd talked about. She said, in all her 3 yr old innocence, "Oh, that's right. She go to Jesus. And go play on the rainbow bridge!!" I think it helped her (and me) to know that we'll see sweet Ellie again one day, but that she'll play and run and be happy until that day.

Until then, we'll miss her terribly and do our best to honor her memory.