My friend Teresa Mae

I've been friends with Teresa since 1978. I started out being friends/penpals with her older sister Cindy, but got closer to Teresa. I'm still friends with Cindy and their brother Bubba (they're from Richmond), too. We all spent a lot of summers together since their dad was married to my friend Wendy. Even after they divorced, I went down to VA one summer and Teresa came up to PA for the whole summer in 1983.

She's so funny and such a cool chick. Even though she's 4 years younger than me, I wanted to be like her but protect her like a little sister at the same time. As the years after that summer of 83 passed, we fell out of contact, only touching base with each other once every few years, then not really at all when I was with my ex. (Isolation is the most important tool of an abuser). After I came home from the Air Force and made contact with Wendy again, she urged me to try and get in touch with my VA pals again, at least for the sake of her younger son, Steven, who is their half-brother. Amazingly, I can STILL remember their mom's phone number, although she's since moved and gotten a new number.

I called one day and Brenda answered! This was about 2 weeks before Teresa's wedding and they were SO glad I'd called. We were all invited to the wedding, for which we happily drove 3 hrs south. It still makes me cry to think that my memory of that phone number helped reunite a family. It was extremely emotional for me to watch Cindy and Steven dance at the reception, talking and crying. Steven had thought they'd all forgotten and abandoned him. Cindy had tried for years to find Steven, with no luck.

Anyway, contact was very sparse again with me. I invited them all to my wedding in 97 but none of them came. I sent Christmas cards and never got any back. So, I really stopped trying.

Earlier this spring, Wendy asked me to meet her, Steven and his 2 children, Cindy and her 2 daughters, and Cindy's grandson at the Arby's. It was really great seeing Cindy again. She brought me up to date on Teresa too. As a kid, they'd thought T might have had epilepsy. Turns out she has some strange clotting disorder and had probably actually had mini-strokes when they thought she was having a seizure. By this point in her life, she had a diagnosis of MS, 3 or 4 full blown strokes, a wonderful 7 yr old son (described by Cindy as a miracle baby because T should not have been able to conceive, let alone carry a baby), and a LOT of frustration in not being able to do what she wanted to do as fast as she thought she should be able to. "Everything takes too damn long" is her favorite saying lately.

Two days ago, Wendy called to let me know that Teresa is in the hospital. She had another stroke while on vacation at Nags Head, but refused to go to any of the local hospitals. So they brought her home and took her to the ER in Richmond. There was 100% blockage in her blood vessel (I assume in one going to her brain - Wendy isn't sure). The doctors told her husband that they had 2 choices. 1) Operate immediately and then have no guarantee of how long she'd live or 2) don't operate and she'd be dead within 30 minutes. So they took off about half of her skull to relieve pressure on her brain. Her skull is sewn into her abdomen, to keep the tissue and bone alive. She's in a drug induced coma. They brought her out of it long enough to ask if she could move her hands and feet and if she could hear them. All of those were a YES, so that's a good sign. They put her back in the coma, because it's apparently quite painful to have your skull stored in your belly. They're waiting for the brain swelling to go down before doing anything else. She currently has a 50/50 shot at surviving.

If you're the praying type, please pray for her and her family. Even though I'm not really close anymore, I still love her like a little sister. And her son deserves to have a mom longer than 7 years. I'll update as I get info from Wendy.